THE NECESSITY OF SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is a compound word made up of 'self' meaning a person’s personality or character that makes them different from another people and 'esteem' meaning great respect and admiration; a good opinion of somebody. It is a term commonly referred to as self-worth, self-image or self-ascertain by different people. What is self-esteem? Who need it? Why is it important? How does one bolster a waning or sagging self-esteem? Constitute the basis of this article.
According to word net, self-esteem is a feeling of pride in you.” Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (6th edition) concurs by saying that, “it is a feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities.” Nathaniel Braden, in his book, The Art of Living Consciously. (1997), also affirms that, “self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment happiness are right natural for us”. It is clear from these definitions that self-esteem is an integral part of human soul. It is the condiment, the ingredient that gives dignity to human existence. Self-esteem is not and should not be seen as the ecstatic of buoyancy that is temporarily induced by a love affair, a drug or a compliment. It is not an illusion or hallucination it is grounded in reality, it is build overtime through appropriate operation of the mind. One writer said, “Sometimes the adolescent with a weak identity and low self-esteem tries to develop a false front or façade with which to face the world, the role. Some assume are familiar; the tough guy, the promiscuous socialite, the outrageously clad punts rockets, but beneath the façade such youth still grapple with the feeling of inferiority.”
Building your self-esteem is a first step towards your happiness and a better life. Self-esteem increases your confidence your confidence in turn, makes you to respect yourself and others which helps you become happier. This is not a selfish goal as you will contribute more and share yourself with the world and those around you. Low self-esteem causes depression, unhappiness, insecurity, inner criticisms; that nagging voice of disapproval inside you causes you to stumble at every challenge. Your ability to assert yourself at work, in school and daily life activities will either make or mar you. Having negative feelings about yourself, hurtfully criticizing yourself even when there is no bases for that should be scotched with immediate effect. Instead of criticizing and complaining, ask your self; what can I do to make things work. The question shouldn’t be who is to blame, but what I can do to improve the status quo, no blame game.
A sagging self-esteem needs to be bolstered or else it goes completely dead. The following practices will help to bolster and nurture a waning or low self-esteem:
a. Face your fears
b. Forget you failures learn from them.
c. Know what you want and ask for it.
d. Praise yourself when you succeed and don’t condemn yourself when you don’t seem to.

Face your fears: Challenges might seem scary, but most of the times your fears are usually exaggerated. Facing your fears increases your confidence and boosts your esteem, running from them mean cowardice and will never take away the fact that they exist. Show the stuff you are made up with by facing them boldly-you are not a coward. Are you?

Forget your failures, but learn from them: Failure has become a nightmare to some people. Agreed, it is debilitating, but it is not worth the trouble it caused such people. Looking at failure as an opportunity to try another thing more intelligently will help take away the nightmarishing feeling. When asked by a journalist if he considers himself a failure after his 99 fail attempt to discover the light bulb, Thomas Edison confidently reply that he did not fail at each attempt; rather, he succeeded at discovering another idea that wouldn’t work. Persistence, endurance and vision firmly directed at a destination culminate to be success. As Karl Max will say, “error which is not corrected is a sign of intellectual immorality.” Avoid making the same mistakes, but don’t limit yourself by assuming you fail before so you can’t succeed this time. Try again, you are wiser and stronger don’t be trapped in the past! You are not going to be defeated by one failed attempt. Are you? Don’t people fail before they succeed? All you need is a different approach.
Know what you want and ask for it: Don’t keep mute when you are supposed to speak, you have to show where you belong. Life does not give you what you deserve, but what you demand. Speak out! You need to be heard, you need to be self-assertive. You deserve your dreams to come through! But no body will come and put that dream in your hand, you will have to go and get it. Ask question if you have any doubt, don’t assume you know when you don't.
Praise yourself when you succeed and don’t condemn yourself when you don’t seem to.Completely away from being conceited, you must learn to cultivate the habit of congratulating yourself and feeling good on your skilful and diligent effort at all you do. Isn’t everything easier when you take time to help yourself? Make it a habit not to do shoddy work and be positive. Do not underestimate your skill and the repertoire of what you can do. For instance, you may not think that being able to cook or to fix a flat tyre is that important, but a hungry person or a stranded motorist will admire you for having such skills.
The importance of self-esteem can not be over emphasized. Begin to see yourself as really someone deserving of respect and dignity. Be optimistic and feel valuable. Break down the habit of seeing yourself as someone who can not accomplish anything spectacular. Don’t just wish , do something because action is necessary step to take no mater what habit you desire to break. Don’t make a trifling effort; it wouldn’t work-make a gigantic determination. You have to see your life as an answer and not a problem.